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12 Steps for Survivors

Step 1 (Nean)

I accept that I am powerless to change my abuser; Only he can change himself and his actions. However I can change myself and my circumstances. I have many worthwhile and positive qualities and I can expound on those to make my life happy, safe and violence free.

Step 2 (Angela)

"Came to believe that there is no power greater than that WITHIN ourselves to find the courage to one day escape, and thereby, restore us to sanity"

Step 3 (Marge)

I have the power to STAY GONE and the RIGHT to stay FREE from my abuser. I WILL withstand his cry baby routine, I REFUSE to believe his EMPTY promises to change and I WILL STAY safe. I will take good care of myself so the I will eventually find a man WORTHY OF ME!!!

Step 4 (Teresa)

I will admit that DV has caused issues in my well-being, and that even once out of the DV relationship, I will use the wisdom and courage within me to face these issues, along with the support of DV counseling and support groups, to overcome such issues.

Step 5 (Marge)

THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO FEEL GUILTY. All of my abuser's rage and anger was NOT my fault. I will upset people in the future and let them down. It's o.k. to be imperfect. It's o.k. to be wrong sometimes. It's o.k. to be myself in EVERY aspect.

Step 6 (Lisa)

We Admitted to God, ourselves and our support group the exact nature of our pain, and how We had been/are being affected by the Violence and Abuse in our life.

Step 7 (Nean)

I can and will make amends with all the family and friends I have lost or alienated due to my controling expartner. I am precious to these people and know they will forgive my turning away from them and welcome me back with open arms.

Step 8 (Angela)

We are ready to let the LAW remove the defects of HIS character

Step 9 (Lisa)

We made a decision to take a Clear and Honest look into our own childhood years in regards to what might have attracted us to an Abuser/Abusers

Step 10 (Jess & Nean)

Continue to take inventory on any potential person that I may want a relationship with, making sure he/she is healthy and loving and NEVER compromise my standards to make someone "fit the bill".

Step 11 (Heather)

I will confidently follow my dreams and live my life the way I choose – this is not a wishful fantasy but an obligation to myself. I deserve it. From now on I will take care of my own needs first. I acknowledge such action is not selfish, for without helping myself to be happy, healthy, emotionally and financially secure, I am powerless to help others.

Step 12 (Connie)

Having found freedom from abuse through the use of these steps and the support of the women who have walked them before me, I will continue to carry the message to all women who are yet to come.
There IS Hope!
There IS Peace!
There IS a better life!

Copyright © The Women Of the Bravenet Leaving Abuse Message Board 2002

Please feel free to print out a copy of this or any other page on the LeavingAbuse.com site!



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